If you have been keeping up with my pregnancy journey (which started off with being an unwanted one; more on this here), then you would know I am just past the 3-month mark.
my experience
One symptom I had that I thought was quite “weird” for being one I never associated to pregnancy would be cramps.
THAT’S RIGHT. Like the period kind, except I couldn’t predict when they could happen (only spotted a pattern more at night).
However, was cramping normal? I mean, isn’t just for when you have a period or if something may not entirely right with your pregnancy?
Well, my cramping was mostly lower abdomen (period-like cramps during first trimester) with occasional cramping of my ovaries (more on one side), which is something I always advise consulting with a local medical service if you are having it or it doesn’t feel right (since that’s what I did).
personal confession
I was experiencing these cramps around the times I hadn’t decided whether or not I was going to continue my unwanted pregnancy, or terminate (have an abortion), which I speak more of here.
So, to think a potential miscarriage could be the cause of my cramping was slightly relieving…to know that this would remove the weight of the decision being ALL ON ME to make and decide the path of my life, from whether I would terminate or continue.
I know it’s really “bad” to say out loud, and might sound very insensitive to girlies in the opposite situation; who really wanted kids. However, I’d be lying to say I didn’t feel this way slightly (I would feel not so much like this now but it is normal to have such intrusive thoughts and wants, pop-up, specially when you are in a situation like me).
My decision came with me leaving it to God to let happen what he has destined for me, and continue.
But I want you to know that you are not a bad person for having these thoughts.
You are a human, you are not perfect. Forgive yourself, and show yourself self-compassion.
These can bring upon very dark times, but you will get through it.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
Also, sorry to any girlies who this may be a trigger to, since I know there are women on the complete opposite side of the spectrum that have always wanted and then experience loss. My heart pours out to you, and I don’t want this to be seen as insensitive, but just as the reality of the thoughts that go through the mind of a girl who comes from a “I will never want to have kids” perspective.
is it normal?
In short, it can be BUT it depends on the reason (which we usually don’t know until we see a professional).
In long…I will break this down into 2 parts:
- what I got told by a health professional when I sought help from the local emergency department.
- what I saw on Google from my searches, AFTER having sought help.
THIS DOES NOT SERVE AS PROFESSIONAL ADVICE. Please consult a doctor if you are worried, this is simply what happened to me and I aim to share this so comfort whoever is experiencing this that it may not be because of a threatening reality.
So I was cramping for maybe about 2 to 3 weeks until it came accompanied by some pink discharge, which I speak about here. BECAUSE OF THIS (what I saw on Google that it could be signs of a potential loss), I went to the emergency department from the most local hospital to see what was actually happening in my body.
I got seen by the nurse, who literally gave me a proper telling off and made me cry for being “irresponsible” for having waited so long (the 2 to 3 weeks of cramping) before getting checked.
Little did she know, I had only decided to keep the baby 1 week prior to this…
(A few things to note:)
- Now, I know I should have potentially been checked earlier but given the circumstances, and the fact that I hadn’t been bleeding I thought it was okay??? (like I don’t know, we weren’t taught this growing up, I’m fully winging it here!)
- The other women in my life, who had babies, hadn’t experienced this but each woman has different symptoms so “it could have also just been down to that?” is what I thought…
Then I saw the doctor, who was a lot more tender, and reassuring.
the reasons
When checked by the doctor, she noted nothing to be concerned with since I wasn’t in a horrifically painful (or even mildly) condition, and could go about my daily life, and movements, effortlessly.
She informed me the cramping could be because of:
- the changes in organs happening within my body that was preparing for what was to come later in the pregnancy
- the expansion experienced since I had (not as petite anymore with the pregnancy weight gain which I’ll chat about soon too) quite a petite body frame so it would impact me more than another girlie who could be a bit bigger in size.
Regardless, nothing could be settled without an ultrasound scan which is what I got done, at a walk-in emergency clinic, the following day, which showed that everything was fine and healthy for both me and baby.
After knowing everything was fine, and the cramping was normal for me, I got curious and Googled it to see what would be some common reasons OUTSIDE of it being a pregnancy loss, and this is what I found:
- changes in hormones
- growth in womb
- increased levels of gas and bloating
- constipation
As we can see, it can be very much normal to have random cramping in early pregnancy, and what causes random cramping in early pregnancy can be to do with the changes your body is going through internally.
should I be worried about cramping in early pregnancy?
Well, if you are, I would say to always get checked by a doctor just so you can be more at peace about it.
However, in most cases, it is common to have cramps SPECIALLY in early pregnancy.
I hope this helps reassure other girlies who are pregnant, or might be one day, specially if you have had a rough transition just like me of not wanting to have kids to now being in the situation where you have to make a decision. The mental and emotional load is INSANE, so to worry about these symptoms too can also be very heavy on our wellbeing. I hope this post alleviates some stress in anticipation since cramping in early pregnancy is normal for many women.
my advice girl-to-girl: get checked by a doctor ALWAYS, but try not to think of the worst immediately since it might be case just like me.
♡
Thanks for reading girlies, and I hope that has been somewhat reassuring in the chaotically wild ride of emotions that is digesting an unwanted pregnancy, to thriving and becoming stronger as a girlie in my 20s.
I release blog posts every Friday at 2pm (UK time/ I’m a london-based girlie), dishing on all-things unwanted pregnancy, taking control of my narrative, being a girl in my 20s, and achieving my dream life.