I want this chat, right here, to serve you as some comfort food; let this girl-talk nourish you, sustain you and relax you.
I want to comfort you that life in your 20s, and outside of it, isn’t a straight forward path that you follow and get done. It is more-so a self-discovery path with various bumps, and turns, and sometimes no idea where you are at, or where you are heading, and that is completely fine.
If you take-away anything from our chat, here, then I want it to be that: if your 20s feel a bit overwhelming at-times, it is completely normal.
We are all going through the same, in our own ways.
It is just a sign of growth, and life happening.
In this blog post, we will be going through various relatable moments most of us go through, as women, in our 20s, and how to help navigate these experiences with more ease (or to simply feel reassured that there is someone else going through it too). I will also be sharing some ways in which I personally navigate my 20s to make the most of it all.
direction
If I had to describe the 20s era in one sentence, I’d say:
- our 20s feels like we should be somewhere where we have no idea how to get to, or where to even go, until we realise we are exactly where we are meant to be, and that our life is working for us in the way that it should.
As time goes by, I realise some things didn’t happen at the time I wanted them to because I had something better waiting for me, that was meant for me, OR I needed that life experience to equip me and help me become the person for it.
Life works in funny ways, and you might expect me to tell you to find your direction, and know what to do, but no.
I’m here to tell you that you don’t need to know your direction, your purpose, your ANYTHING. You simply don’t need to know, or have it all figured out.
If we look at the bigger picture, and take a step back, you have just started getting to know who you truly are. In our 20s, is when we truly get in-touch with who we are as people, as women, as goal-getters, as everything.
- Growing up, our parents are our biggest influences.
- In our teens, our peers become significant influences.
- In our 20s, we find our true individuality, and get to know who we are as people. Yes, we are still influenced, by who we surround ourselves with, but this becomes more of a choice now, rather than a circumstance you are placed in.
How would you expect someone to know everything about how their life is supposed to turn out, if they don’t really even know themselves?
Let that sit with the realisation that we need to give ourselves time, and we do not need to rush the process.
However, with navigating life in your 20s and direction, I’d advise you to be intentional with your time. Don’t just let it pass by, because our 20s will fly by just like that.
We want to make sure we are living life with intention; and I am not promoting toxic productivity here. I am more-so encouraging you to live life on purpose.
For me that means: on a Sunday evening, I will purposefully be a couch potato and watch my favourite Youtuber, and rom-com movies, and not just mindlessly let time pass-by whilst I scroll on my phone. I will intentionally choose to use my time, and fill it up with all the rest and cosiness that suits me. Or on a Tuesday evening, I will make a super indulgent dinner with my favourite pasta shape.
It’s about making the small moments stand-out, feeling your present life, and really enjoying it to the fullest (which we will get into a little more later).
In terms of direction, as it pertains to purpose and career, being intentional is advice I’d like to breakdown into: do what feels like the best next-thing and the rest will follow.
It can be hard to be intentional if you don’t know what your intention is, but if you follow what feels right, your direction will reveal itself to you; still remaining that you don’t need to know how or where.
ambition
If you’re here, then you and me are alike; in that we are ambitious women who share the dream of being our own bosses, and having our financial freedom.
I’m here to tell you to embrace your ambition; don’t let other people dictate what your life should be or look alike, and definitely don’t let your ambition, to be financially free, be downplayed by others, or made feel like it is impossible, because this shows more about them and their belief system, than it does about your capability.
Sometimes, it’s best to keep your ambitions and dream to yourself, and work on it quietly, specially when just starting your online business, so that you can protect your energy and nurture your self-belief, rather than exposing your ambition to others, and potentially having them instil self-doubt in you, even if subconsciously.
Now, of course, take the above with a grain of salt, our loved ones definitely always have the best intentions at-heart. I do hope you have a supporting, genuine circle in your life, and if you do, certain comments may just come from a place of fear, or wanting you to succeed in a way that defines their expectations, but once you make it, no one will even hesitate to doubt your vision. More importantly, you would have made it happen for yourself, and have validated yourself that you are capable, and can achieve anything you put your mind to.
Therefore, if you have a dream to make money online, quit your 9 to 5, retire your parents, travel the world, then try.
Try, know that you will need to learn, make mistakes, keep going, and you will succeed.
enjoying life
We’ve spoken about navigating life in our 20s, as women, in direction, ambition, and with that, we need to remember to also enjoy our life.
Life isn’t just about hustling, working, and being constantly in survival mode. Life is to also be enjoyed.
Fitting joy into our lives may not sound like a pressing requirement to some, but IT IS.
How do you expect to give so much of yourself to all of your dreams, ambitions, loved ones, but you’re pouring out of an empty cup?
You need to fill your own cup, not only to satisfy and achieve all of your wildest dreams, but because we WANT to live a fulfilled and FUN life in our 20s! We want to show up for ourselves, in ALL ways.
We want balance; something that is controversial if you’re juggling a 9 to 5, online business, hobbies, loved ones, fun experiences, beauty, fitness, wellness, and more. However, the key here is making time, and finding what balance means to you.
I have spoken about this a bit here, relating to how to make time for creating your dream life, whilst working 9 to 5, and I’d use the exact same method for making time for joy whilst life is happening in our 20s, because a dream life is also made up of joy; lots of it!
Navigating enjoying our life in our 20s ensures we are creating boundaries. We need to take action on our ambitions, but also know how to inject joy into our life, and balance. We work hard at our dreams, but we also want to play hard.
The reality is that there are irreplaceable moments and people, in our present life, and that is something to be mindful of, so that we can enjoy those moments and people.
When we are ambitious, chasing our dream life of financial freedom, we may feel like we are running out of time, and we need to get it NOW. Sometimes it is at the expense of time with our loved ones; sometimes we will justify this with the act of chasing our dream life TO share the dream with them. But, we need to learn how to find the sweet-spot to navigating our life, and for that to happen, we need to be conscious that time does not come back. To live a life without regret, we need to make time for people, and things we love.
It might sound like a lot to manage, but it’s not always about the amount of time; it is about the quality. As we all grow into our independent lives, we see the people we love having less time, and quality is what starts to really mean the world. This mindset shift depicts the harsh reality of life, but this wake-up call is the blessing that allows us to take life in all its beauty, to make the most of it, in our 20s and beyond.
If you have no idea what enjoying life means to you, I’d start with making a list of all the things you like, or find yourself feeling happy with.
Some ways I like to make time for enjoying life in my 20s, working 9 to 5, and chasing my dream life, is:
- Multi-stacking, for example: seeing friends AND doing a hobby at the same time. For example, going to a painting studio with my best-friend, on a Saturday morning. Then, I am putting together different areas of my life that bring me joy; both people and things I love.
- Simplifying my routine, for example: I have hair accessories that make my hair look polished and stylish without spending too much time, so that then I can leave earlier and spend more time outside in the sun, going for a walk, and moving my body. Living out your vision board aesthetic doesn’t always have to take hours, and you can find ways to look great, without spending ages, so you have more time for anything else.
- Knowing my energy levels: this is all about adapting the type of fun to my energy levels. Typically, Sundays are a day where I will get the Sunday scaries, and think about the Monday ahead with a certain level of dread (temporarily, because our future selves will be self-employed, and time-abundant), so I like to still enjoy life with indoor hobbies, or fun that relaxes me, like going for a walk. These are low-energy types of ways I enjoy life.
As you can see, it doesn’t always have to be a simple roadmap, following how others enjoy their life. It is all about staying true to you, but being intentional with your time to create boundaries so you get to make the most of life; which is also about having fun.
Allow yourself to.
womanhood
To be a woman, is beautiful, and to be a woman, is a challenge in diverse ways.
One of those ways is learning about how our life is majorly influenced by our menstrual cycle, and at what stage we are at.
I don’t want to dive too deep into this one, as I will have many other blog posts already, and coming, on womanhood as a girlie in our 20s, but I can’t talk about navigating life in our 20s, without mentioning our nature as women.
I want to shed light at the fact that there is still a lot we will all learn about our bodies, our eating habits, our moods, energy levels, physical capacity, creative levels, concentration, and more, as we change in our bodies, and selves. However, I would like to always encourage the most self-compassion whilst navigating womanhood in your 20s, and beyond, since our bodies are gorgeous mechanisms that allow for procreation, and we shouldn’t ever let beauty standards dictate our worth, and life.
One tip I would give for navigating womanhood in your 20s, is to get to know yourself according to your menstrual cycle, and see how you can adapt your life to suit your fluctuating needs throughout the month. I do this by tracking, using an app called Flo.
This will create a space of further self-sympathy once you better-understand that certain feelings and habits arise, because your body’s needs are changing. You will be better in-sync with yourself, and life can feel easier because you will be able to live life the way your body can handle, depending on what stage you are at in your menstrual cycle.
Understanding your menstrual cycle will feel like a life-hack on being a woman in your 20s, and beyond, so be aware and be loving to yourself.
You are beautiful, and you are worthy. Love your body, and love yourself.
our 20s: closing thoughts
As you can see, we all go through similar life experiences, mindset shifts, realisations, and navigations, as girlies in our 20s.
I hope this helps you feel a bit more comforted that our 20s are a journey of self-discovery, as even beyond our 20s can be also.
I hope this inspires you to lead your 20s with love, and nurture a deep connection with yourself, since anything in your life will stem from you, your self-respect, and your self-love. Your decisions will flow, and you will create your life as you desire.
Take control, and make your life the most fulfilling you can imagine it to be.