I’m going to be sharing something that has been on my mind recently, and quite a lot, I must add!
That’s right, the SIZE of my belly. Now and later on!
I know it might sound absurd to some people to be worrying about the size of my pregnant belly, and specifically how BIG it will get, since there is something “greater” happening; the growth of a whole human.
I mean, yeah got a point! But I am also human, and also just a girl who was never ready to have kids, nor mentally prepared for all the body changes that would come with the process!
For some context, I wrote about my body changes across the first 3 months of pregnancy, if you would like to see how the size of my pregnant belly changed during the first trimester.
Of course, everyone is different and I keep reminding myself of that, as I’d like to remind you too!
background
I never wanted kids, and I’ve written about my personal story here.
So, off the bat, I won’t be one of those girls who absolutely love flaunting their bump and there is nothing wrong with that. I’m just trying to manage through the journey as best as I can.
When talking about belly size during pregnancy, I hadn’t given it too much thought until about the 3-month mark…
When I really felt the belly starting to stretch and become more visible.
I am at about 4 months currently, and I know it’s belly growth all the way from here!
I would describe my current pregnant belly bump (around 16 weeks) as a very dramatic food baby, after Christmas feasting all day long. Except, I wake up like this already, and not with the usual flatter, more debloated-version of my tummy.
Now that I see my belly growing a bit, it’s just hit me…“what if my pregnant belly gets really, I mean REALLY, HUGE?”
Some girls worry about their bellies being too small, but I don’t find myself in this category.
why worry?
Well, when I reflect on why I have this fear, it comes down to some big factors:
- not wanting to look too pregnant since I don’t glorify the idea of it, or see appeal in a big pregnant belly, as some girls might (and that is completely ok too!)
- the potential effects it may have on my body. The bigger the bump, the more strain on my skin which makes me fear the potential of stretch marks, saggy skin, etc.
- feeling uncomfortable about weight gain. I have always kept to a petite frame, and the idea of having a huge pregnant bump also requires a significant amount of weight gain attached, whether it’s from me and/or baby, which I’m not too fond of.
- other people’s eyes on me. This one is the awareness I have of other people’s judgement; I mean if your belly is huge, it’s inevitable that people may look since it may not be common. Of course, other people’s judgement and opinions DO NOT MATTER, but it does get to me a little, when there is already so much to emotionally and mentally manage during an unwanted pregnancy; I don’t need other people staring at me too.
You might relate to the above, or not resonate whatsoever.
Regardless, your reasons are valid.
The nature of the fact is that pregnancy is a lottery.
You don’t know how big your pregnant belly will get, or how you will be affected during, and after.
disclaimer
This is not to say that I want a flat tummy during pregnancy, I KNOW it is essential to gain some weight and have a growing belly, since it reflects a healthy growing baby.
So, I would like to just make this clear as we talk about this, that it is essential to have a growing belly to make sure baby is being fed well and has a healthy development, before birth.
But, I refer mostly to the very extreme big pregnant belly-kind. The kind that has your weight pushing you forward when you move, before you are even due.
It may be superficial to some girls, to hear me talk about appearance and belly size, but after all, I’m just a girl.
I’m trying my best under my unique circumstances, and I know this will resonate with someone out there because I can’t be the only one.
what to do?
Well, as mentioned earlier, we can’t predict how pregnancy is going to go for us; the symptoms, the pregnancy belly size, the timings, ANYTHING!!
The only certain thing is that everything is uncertain, only with a few exceptions (rough due date, stages, common symptoms).
So, what can we do if we are scared about having a big pregnant belly? NOTHING.
All we can do is find peace in knowing that this is out of our control, and is a necessary step to the journey, no matter how much you wanted it or not.
However, I would encourage you to try reassure yourself, and pour as much self-compassion and love into yourself as possible, to support you through.
Some things I like to keep in mind:
- Honouring my body is the best thing I can do for myself, and baby: eating when I am hungry, trying to eat veggies and fruits too (even though I am balancing that with a lot of snacking nowadays! trying to help it as much as possible though).
- My body is fulfilling a purpose right now, other than myself: reminding myself on those days where I feel a bit bigger, or not as attractive, that your body is not only yours for these 9 months. Try to find comfort in that, during these body changes. HARD ONE.
- This is temporary. You will regain your body back fully, lay on your belly when you please, exercise (if that’s what you want), lose the pregnancy weight (if that’s what you want), and not have to worry about carrying another life inside of you.
- I am beautiful no matter what. Self-affirming my beauty, affirms my confidence that it is not pregnancy that will takeaway from me, because my beauty is something I was born with.
- I have control over how cute I can look. Pregnancy can make you feel like you have no control in what is happening to you, and HOW it is happening to you. I like to remind myself that I do have some control over how I look (cute bump-friendly outfits, using hair accessories to make cute hairstyles more effortless, doing some natural makeup when I feel).
- This is teaching me to grow as a person, and evolve even more than before. The amount of changes that we process, as women during pregnancy, whether it’s physical, emotional, mental, is TREMENDOUS. Having to navigate pregnancy, and all the changes that come with it, before ever having the human out in the world to take responsibility for, is growth like no other. I try to see the positive that I am much more of a grown person now than I was, and will continue to evolve into an even stronger woman always.
These reminders keep me grounded, and input some logic into me when the emotions want to get the better of me; with fear of how big my pregnant belly will get (or might get).
This is how I am taking control of my narrative as a girlie in my 20s, who never wanted kids, but will not have this stop me from achieving my entrepreneurial, confident girl dreams!
I hope these help you too!
important reminder
Despite all the fear, and worry, one other thing I would say is to not let yourself get too immersed in the sad/depressed pregnant or mother content on social media.
A lot of those videos will have you believing that you will feel the same, and even though it is helpful to find relatability and feel that you are not alone, it can also have you feeling those negative emotions without anything actually happening in your current reality.
Don’t let that dictate how your experience will be, because your pregnancy and postpartum can be different, and you do have some control in how you feel and react!
You are beautiful no matter what, and your essence is the only one to exist in the whole wide world.
In the span of your whole life, you will only experience a big pregnant belly anywhere from 2 to 5 months (depending). Not that long, is it? Remind yourself of that. You can and will get through it, you got this!
♡
Thanks for reading girlies, and I hope that has been somewhat reassuring in the chaotically wild ride of emotions that is digesting an unwanted pregnancy, to thriving and becoming stronger as a girlie in my 20s.
I release blog posts every Friday at 2pm (UK time/ I’m a london-based girlie), dishing on all-things unwanted pregnancy, taking control of my narrative, being a girl in my 20s, achieving my dream life, and succeeding as an entrepreneur.