when to start preparing for baby? 👶

chapters:

• timeline of my pregnancy up to now

• when I will start baby prep

• why this timeframe?

• what to consider for yourself

I have shared absolutely everything related to my pregnancy journey, from it being unwanted news as a childfree girl at 25, to my symptoms, to my progression, and journey in preserving my girlhood and figuring out amidst of it all!

With all the turbulence of adjusting to an unplanned pregnancy, accepting a change of path, and trying to just be me, and be better and happier with life, comes a lot of life-things to deal with!

timeline of my pregnancy up to now

(by month)

So far, I am about 4 to 5 months into my pregnancy which consisted quite few, but very different, phases:

• Month 1: when I found out about I was pregnant and spiraled downwards into endless sadness and crying. I talk about this more here!

• Month 2: (mostly) is when I was just shocked I was in this situation, sad and beyond depressed, spent days in my room just crying, with no will for anything, no happiness or "looking at the bright side" as I usually would try to. It was quite a dark time for me.

• Month 3: still very in the low, but is when I had to make a decision as to whether to continue or terminate my pregnancy so I wouldn't leave it for any later. As you can guess, I decided to continue (I might make a separate blog post on why; comment if you'd like to see this!).

• Month 4: is when I started to feel a bit more like myself. I wouldn't cry all the time, I would feel a bit more hopeful for myself, and a bit more relieved a decision had been made so I could get-on with my life. It was still hard, and still is at-times, but it became more about adjusting and accepting my new path. I started having a bit more energy to TRY, and make myself feel better and look after myself a bit more.

• Going to month 5: here is when I still have my moments, as is usual, but my logic has kicked-in a lot more. It's the wake-up call, almost, of like "this is going to happen one way or another, whether you are prepared or not" so might as well try plan, look into motherhood from others' perspectives and just see where I might want to stand in the world of it all (for now, in the very early stages).

One thing I will say is that I have emotionally depended on my partner now, more than ever. He has been my rock and my foundation (as well as my family, specially my partner who seems at all times of the day). I know not everyone is blessed with the same circumstances, but if you do, cherish it! It's an amazing thing to have.

There's the very brief timeline of how my pregnancy has been for me, personally, as a girlie who intended to be childfree.

It's a lot to take-in in a very short period of time, so in the span of 9 months (or so) of a pregnancy, half of it has been managing to embrace the concept of being pregnant.

And I want to tell you, that's okay.

Don't feel as if, at 5 months, you need to have things figured out and prepared for the baby. YOU have a lot to manage and figure out yourself first.

Every pregnancy looks different, and specially when it wasn't wanted by you, in the first place.

Be self-compassionate and allow yourself the time to digest and not rush. We won't always have that privilege!

when I will start baby prep

I know there is a wide spectrum of where girlies sit with this one. "When should I start preparing for baby?" is a question where you may be on one side (as soon as possible!) or at the very opposite (in my third trimester or towards the end will be fine).

For me, I completely blocked out how other girlies were deciding and just looked at my own timeline of pregnancy, circumstances and what I want in this pregnancy.

Hence why I shared my timeline with you, since it may help you if you prefer to do the same!

I have had a lot of time to digest and let myself feel, but also let my logic naturally start to do its work and have me thinking of what I may need or not need to do, and by when.

Personally, looking forward, I want to prioritise a few broad things in the remainder of my pregnancy:

• a holiday abroad with my partner (all booked and I'll share with you some of it when I am back + girlie pregnancy-related things like outfits!)

• time to air-out my mind, and just be (not have to feel the need to have a deadline or expectation imposed on myself to get a particular baby-prep task done)

• prep phase: a block of time where I will try to prepare as much as possible, buying baby things, arranging the house to accommodate, products for my recovery postpartum, house cleaning, meal-prepping to freeze (I have a blog post on a way to make meal-prepping easy for you for those postpartum freezer meals; focusing on both nutrition and ease).

• rest phase

The above is what priorities I have for the rest of my pregnancy, and this is how I plan to distribute it for my own personal timeline:

• Month 5 to 6: time to air-out my mind, not have anything I impose on myself to still do or start preparing for baby. Go on a holiday with my partner and really appreciate every second of the quality time, before being inundated with all the baby and life-things that will come with it.

• Month 6 to Month 8: my prep phase. This is the time-period I plan to block out specifically for all the baby prep! In doing this, I have a plan (which I love) and don't feel the stress of wondering when I will do the things I need to prepare for baby since I have allocated that time for myself. At the same time, before then, I can just relieve my mind as much as possible, of all-things baby! (this is how I see it at least).

• Month 9: my rest phase. Since the end of pregnancy can be known to be extremely hard on our bodies and minds, from how heavy and sore we feel, I want to leave this time for absolutely nothing but rest!

Of course, there will still be a need to pack my maternity bag (which I still don't quite know how to do, and that's okay!) which will be toward that last month of pregnancy, but apart from that I am hoping it will be mostly just rest.

I have to say I am quite dreading the 6 to 8 month stage of pregnancy, in the sense that things will feel even more real when buying and seeing the baby things, and changes in the house. The grieving of how life is now, and the fear of how it will be, but it will be part of the transition I guess, right? I'm hoping for the unexpected happiness I could feel, to keep me grounded in the emotional chaos of it all.

why this timeframe?

I chose to start preparing for baby in this timeframe, because it is very personal to me, how my pregnancy journey has been so far, how I like to generally do things, and I feel like it allows for some "free-time" for me to just be and not necessarily have to feel the need to be "productive"!

Everyone is different, and my advice to any girlie wondering when to start preparing for baby, is to look at your circumstances, and how you like to usually prepare for other things, and then try to create your own personal timeline and plan, as I did here.

For me:

• I love having a plan, and not leaving everything for the last-minute (specially with the unpredictable nature of pregnancy, and in the third trimester)

• But also I like to have balance (by allowing myself to just be, and not feel the need to be ticking a box)

• I want to get things done and prepared but without it taking up my whole pregnancy (to not feel the shock as much, preserve some normalcy where possible)

• I use this timeframe as a flexible guide, since I know things could change or happen in unpredictable ways too

Knowing who I am, how I am, what I want, how I have lived my pregnancy up to now, and how I want to live the rest of my pregnancy has created me the holistic approach of knowing when to start preparing for baby, in a way that works for me.

what to consider for yourself

As you can see, I prefer to see what works for me, to know when to start preparing for baby, rather than looking for a fixed answer on Google from others (which is still okay, but not for me; I wouldn't be happy that way!).

Hopefully this has helped you have some insight into other ways you can plan when to prepare for baby, whilst still acknowledging your own needs and wants, which are very valuable too!

On top of this, I thought it would be helpful to share some tips on also what to consider or think about when you are working out when is best for you to start preparing for baby:

• how much maternity leave you have (if not a lot, or maybe you are self-employed you might want to prep-ahead a bit more in the meal-prepping or learning about postpartum recovery)

• how you might feel in the third trimester (pregnancy is unpredictable, but just keep in-mind that your energy levels may be much lower in the final stage of pregnancy, and you might have the capability, mentally or physically, to prepare for baby as much)

• how you prefer to distribute your baby-prep (spread it out across the whole pregnancy, leave it for the end, time-block a period of time to get all your prep done)

• how much you might need to prepare, for example, first-time mum vs second or third-time mum (if it's your first time, like me, then you may need more products or use more time to find out WHAT you even need, vs a girlie who has been a mum before. So account for this when figuring out when to start preparing for baby).

• how much you want to get for baby. Some girlies want to get absolutely every little thing for their baby, and this might require you to start preparing earlier for baby so you get it all before baby is out. But if you're like me, then you'll keep it simple and get just what is needed for baby, so I would probably not need as much time to prepare for baby (in comparison).

These are a few extra factors that may sway you in when you want to start preparing for baby, but the most important is that you take ownership over how you use your time, and you don't just let your time pass by. If you choose not to do anything right now, that's fine! But at least, be intentional that that is how your time will be used at the moment. It will give you more power in how you feel throughout pregnancy and life!

I choose to take control of my narrative here by having a plan of when to start preparing for baby, in a way that suits my needs, my wants, how I CHOOSE to use my time, and a timeframe that makes me feel good about when to start preparing (as good as I possibly can).

I encourage you to also take control of your narrative, no matter what the circumstances, you are the creator of your dream life. It's in your hands, and just know, it doesn't always require you to know what to do, but simply decide what you will do with what you have, and you are already one step ahead.

You've got this.

Own your Womanhood. Own your Time.

♡

I’ll be logging updates throughout this whole journey as a mother-to-be, working to be an entrepreneur, but to also still preserve the girlhood within, to try and be her best self, and live her happiest life, so keep-up with me through the blog!

I release a new blog post every Friday at 1pm!(UK-time)

Let me know if you’re in a similar headspace (pregnant or not), being in our 20s is confusing, and taking control of our story is the only way we can take ownership of our happiness and live out our dream life.

I document my unwanted pregnancy journey at 25, taking control of my narrative, figuring out being a girl in my 20s, chasing my dream life, and conquering my boss babe dream of becoming a self-employed, entrepreneur / Blogger!